


Doyoung's 3am snores & Donghyuck's ryan plushie roleplay

by seungcheolseyebrows



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack Fic, Im not that funny so most stuff is unorginal content or vine references, M/M, but i'll try to make this as entertaining as possbile, doyoung's a snake, groupchat fic, hella gay shit sorry not sorry, hope u all enjoy tho, idk so bye, im unoriginal and not funny sooo, markhyuck, no plot ...well maybe, norenmin, sips tea, wayyy too many vine refernces cuz im trash like that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-11 21:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15980846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungcheolseyebrows/pseuds/seungcheolseyebrows
Summary: just a hella gay, hella cringy, hella meme-y nct gc fic cuz im bored





	1. "y'all i'm bald!"

**Author's Note:**

> Ten- confidentgay  
> Johnny- daddylonglegs  
> Taeyong- bald  
> Yuta- Sunshine House  
> Winwin- Sichengg  
> Jungwoo- uwunation  
> Lucas- toll  
> Taeil- smilingthroughthepain  
> Jeno- Smiles  
> Mark- cringe  
> Haechan- sidedish  
> Jaemin- nana  
> Chenle- dolphin headass  
> Jisung- maknaeontop  
> Jaehyun- turtle  
> Kun- kunnie  
> Renjun- renjunnie  
> Doyoung- Snake

 

confidentgay: Y'ALL I'M BALD!

sidedish: spill

dolphin headass: what happened hyung?

confidentgay: guess what i saw in the food court today 

Snake: ur career?

Snake: cuz i sure didn't

cringe: OOF

turtle: lol

confidentgay: 1. no and 2. i will roundhouse kick u in front of McDonalds meet me @ 5

Snake: gotta blast

junguwu: what did u see hyung :)

confidentgay: jaehyun get his ASS handed to him by an elderly lady

confidentgay: that shit was funny i couldn't  _not_ record

turtle: HEY!

turtle: ur short ass literally tripped over air and blamed it on the sidewalk

confidentgay: fight me

turtle: gladly

cringe: "i don't care about my haters. if you wanna fight me then fight me"

sidedish: stfu u retarded piece of meme trash

cringe: suck my dick u sub

bald: oH

Sunshine House: anyone seen winwin???

maknaeontop: nopee

dolphin headass: ^

turtle: ^

cringe: ^

bald: ^

confidentgay: ^ 

Snake: he's hiding in the bathroom because he doesn't like you

Sichengg: hYUNG!

Snake: oops! sorry not sorry ;)

Sunshine House: cool thanks!

Sichengg: great now he's banging on the bathroom stall

Sichengg:....and he's singing

Sichengg: OKAY YUTA STFU I'LL COME OUT!

Sichengg: nO I DON'T WANT TO BUILD A FUCKING SNOWMAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, i hope you guys liked this and i'm finally (*hopefully) back at writing again, but i've been on tumblr mostly and reading other fics on here so hopefully i have motivation and inspiration to write but this is just a filler for now so yeah:)


	2. "doyoung's 3am snores"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cringe: "I smell like beef. I smell like beef"
> 
> Snake: mark, are you high?

**confidentgay has changed the group chat name to " _doyoung's 3am snores"_**

 

Snake: bITCH WHO TOLD U TF?!?!?

maknaeontop: hahahahahaha

confidentgay: ur lucky I didn't name it "doyoung licks toes"

turtle: okay wtf?

uwunation: why?

sidedish: send the vids hyung for....scientific reasons ;)

Daddylonglegs: oof

bald: the one time ur in the chat

Daddylonglegs: yeah cuz unlike u guys I have a life; which consists of a job and ten :)

confidentgay: yes daddy, tell em

Snake: since we're spilling secrets...

Snake: dONGHYUCK DOES ROLEPLAY WITH HIS RYAN PLUSHIE PRETENDING ITS MARK!

Sichengg: JUST GO OUT ALREADY!

sidedish: HYUNG! 

cringe: okaaaayyy pyeonjib !!!

Daddylonglegs: AHHH EXPOSED!

dolphin headass: just got back from class and this is what I'm spammed with?

toll: "I devote my life to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and this is the thanks I get?-" 

confedientgay: no....just....no

Sunshine House: looks like you guys had some fun ;)

bald: okay literally where the fuck have you been?

Sunshine House: umm.... there's this thing called a job where you do this thing called work, you should try it sometime:)

Sunshine House: maybe you'll finally find something else to do instead of blowing up my phone about your potential bald spot and jaehyun :)

cringe: ROASTED !!

nana: oof wig!

confidentgay: "where's my hair?"

kunnie: hi guys, just stopping by to let you all know that you are mean pieces of unproductive shits :)

uwunation: TELL EM KUNNIE!!

sidedish: who let him in?? 

Snake: you are all cancelled, I hate all of u

sidedish: hyung, stop being emo

Snake: says the one who literally  _cried_ when mark patted your head at your attempt flirting

dolphin headass: to be fair, both of you are oblivious to each other's feelings and hyuck is terrible at flirting.

sidedish: I hope you get shoved into a confined space and suffocate.

dolphin headass: wow hyung, that the nicest thing you've said to me all week :)

bald: wHAT?! that was literally rude!

Smiles: I'm pregnant.

smilingthroughthepain: bitch me too the fuck?

Snake: who let him?!?!?!

renjunnie: wasn't Me! I pulled out!

confidentgay: literally ew! I don't need to hear about 12 year olds having sex!

renjunnie: I'm literally NINETEEN HYUNG!

cringe: "I smell like beef. I smell like beef"

Snake: mark, are you high?

cringe: majbejdkskaoaus

 

_confidentgay has left the chat_

_Daddylonglegs has left the chat_

_turtle has left the chat_

_sidedish has left the chat_

_Renjunnie has left the chat_

_bald has left the chat_

_Sichengg has left the chat_

_Smilingthroughthepain has left the chat_

_uwunation has left the chat_

_toll has left the chat_

_dolphin headass has left the chat_

_nana has left the chat_

_nakmaeontop has left the chat_

_Snake has left the chat_

_Sunshine House has left the chat_

_Smiles has left the chat_

_kunnie has left the chat_

cringe: well...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was this good enough? Ik I'm not that funny but I tried. My tea is dry and cold so...


	3. "donghyuck's ryan plushie roleplay"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dolphin headass: HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS !!
> 
> maknaeontop: lele, baby, I love you but shut the fuck up. It's February!
> 
> bald: oof

dolphin headass: HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS!

maknaeontop: lele, baby, I love you but shut the fuck up. It's February!

bald: oof

_**confidentgay has changed 'maknaeontop to 'bold' and 'dolphin headass' to 'late'** _

late: ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOOOUUUU!!!

sidedish: is someone dying next door?

bold: yup, chenle's vocal chords and my eardrums

Daddylonglegs: buy earplugs, they work so good like you can't hear a thing. I use it when ten comes home to vent after a long day or when he complains about the bills ;)

confidentgay: how rude. And I thought u were actually listening.

Sunshine House: literally walked into Mcdonalds for a cup of coffee and got a condom thrown at me :(

Snake: HA!!!

toll: i got hit with a bible by a random lady cuz i kissed jungwoo's cheek.

confidentgay: iM CACKLING!

sidedish: u dont hit my line no more ooh ooh

confidentgay: OOHH THATS MY SHIT BOIIII

bald: u dont make it ring ring ring ring

bold: i cant keep this on the low, i want~ u to make it ring ring ring ring

Snake: should i call first i cant decide

confidentgay: i want to but a bitch got pride

Sunshine House: this switchin up shit is what i cant fuck with

sidedish: im feeling u but u hard to get in touch with

uwunation: and u aint hit me up in a while

toll: acting like u dont know what number to dial

confidentgay: u quit then that's it imma throw in the towel

Daddylonglegs: cuz a *censored* only gon do what u allow

bald: u dont want this gun smoke

late: learn to text with ur nose if your thumb broke

nana: idc if we get into it and i stall on your ass

Smiles: but i still wake up to missed calls from your ass

cringe: yOU DONT HIT MY LINE NO MORE

bald: OOOHH OOOHH

turtle: U DONT MAKE IT RING RING RING RING!!!

smilingthroughthepain: *cries in gay*

confidentgay: *slut drops in thai*

bald: oH WHAT!?!

smilingthroughthepain: moving on...

smilingthroughthepain: so are we just gonna ignore the fact that donghyuck roleplays with a ryan plushie pretending its mark????

sidedish: hYUNG!

bald: what do u do with that thing?

bold: he locks the door sometimes so i have to sleep with lele and renjunnie and sometimes we hear moans....its scary.

sidedish: aHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

late: there's even white stuff on it too !

cringe: oh?

 

**_sidedish has left the chat_ **

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	4. "cheerios and mario kart at yukhei's!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> toll: cheerios and mario kart at yukhei's!  
> toll: "be there or be square. And no one wants to be a square"
> 
> Snake: if that's ur version of an invitation, you're going to have to do better cuz sweetie, your cheerios are stale af and u suck penis at Mario kart

toll: cheerios and mario kart at yukhei's!  
toll: "be there or be square. And no one wants to be a square"

Snake: if that's ur version of an invitation, you're going to have to do better cuz sweetie, your cheerios are stale at and u suck penis at Mario kart

nana: ten hyung is that you?

cringe: they're either secretly brothers or reincarnations of each other.

bold: mark, what to do smoke?

cringe: everything. which reminds me, This Chinese guy from the foreign exchange student program knows some hella good weed plugs and is having an underground party this weekend so if u wanna come I'll hit u with the details!

bald: WE DO NOT SMOKE WEED IN THIS CHRISTIAN GROUPCHAT OK?! SUDGDKSGDOSB

bold: "Chris is that a weed?" "No, it's a crayon-" "I'm calling the police"

uwunation: "4/20 blaze it? More like Luke 20 Praise it!"

Sichengg: it is 1:22 in the ducking morning whY ARE WE STILL UP?! WHY ARE WE STILL EVWN FUCMING ALIVE?!?

confidentgay: damn sicheng, who crawled up your ass and died?

Sichengg: u did.

turtle: OOHHH BURN!

smilingthroughtepain: wOW 

bold: who's the bold one now hyung?

bald: are we fr not going to yukhei's tho? cuz i deadass wanna play mario kart.

cringe: "im bored as shiiitttt"

sidedish: what is with you and these stale vine references???

turtle: hA! "stale vine references" 

cringe: u know donghyuck, come suck my dick ok??

sidedish: no thanks, i cant suck something nonexistent

 **everyone** : OOOOHHHHHHH!!!

cringe: taeyong hyung come get ur demon child!

bald: no thanks, that burnt garbanzo bean aint mine!

 **everyone** : OOOHHH!

_**cringe has changed their name to 'bart simpson'** _

 

confidentgay: y'know, if i wasnt older and taken i would totally let hyunjin take me.

confidentgay: and felix and changbin and jisung and chan 

confidentgay: FUCK IT! STRAY KIDS CAN HAVE MY CHILDREN AND MY (nonexistent) OVARIES!

 

_**turtle has changed 'confidentgay' to 'stray kids hoe'** _

 

toll: so i now know who my real friends are.

toll: its been at least an hour and a half and no one is here ;-;

uwunation: dont worry lucas, i'll come !

smilingthroughthepain: UWU!!!

toll: thank you jungwoo hyung!

Snake: fine, i'll come but there better be take out i dont trust ur fridge

bald: i can whip up some quick food

turtle: SHAWTY GIVE ME WHIP-WHIPLASH

Sichengg: hyung, no.

turtle: sorry :(

toll: thanks hyung!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my back hurts so im cutting the chapter short (but i think i wrote alot so its ok)


	5. "my ass"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bart simpson: hey, how much money do you have?  
> late: 69 cents  
> sidedish: op! you know what that means!  
> bold: i don't have enough money for chicken nugget :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AFTER 49594893 YEARS I AM BACK WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER! ENJOY!

 

bart simpson: hey! how much money do you have?

late: 69 cents

bold: oh! you know what that means ;)

sidedish: i don't have enough money for chicken nugget :(

Snake: get out!

stray kids hoe: THE DOOR!

renjunnie; guuuuyyyyssss

bald: what renjunnie my poor baby?

renjunnie: i'm having a mid-life crisis :(

bart simpson: is there ever a full-life crisis?

stray kids hoe: srsly, guys why isn't he back in canada yet???

sidedish: dON'T DO MARK!

bart simpson: yeah! don't do me sis

bart simpson: you don't want no smoke

Smiles: hunny, this ain't it

kunnie: i am...disgusted.

renjunnie: so _**clearly**_ since i'm being ignored. just wanted to stop by and say I ATE THAT PUSSY!!!!

toll: bro wtf?!?!?

turtle: yoooooo haaha!

nana: but you're gay????

bald: *silence*

snake: caught in a lie~

smilingthroughthepain: oh shiiitttt

renjunnie: jk hyung, but thanks now i got your attention ;)

Smiles: ten hyung what did u do?

stray kids hoe: *dramatic gasp* i am deeply offended (but honored, thank you) that you think i had something to do with this spontaneous adolescent behavior ):)

daddylonglegs: where tf did u pull that from?

stray kids hoe: my ass ;)

bald: i am signing out, i no longer have custody over any of you.

bald: have a nice day.

 

**_bald_ ** _**has left the chat** _

 

Sunshine House: well then....

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "spontaneous adolescent behavior"
> 
> let me know of any grammar mistakes please!


End file.
